


Mad as Rabbits

by IAmANonnieMouse



Category: Inception (2010)
Genre: Crack, Eames being ridiculous, Easter, Established Relationship, Fluff, Grocery Store, M/M, Shopping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-08 05:29:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14098266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IAmANonnieMouse/pseuds/IAmANonnieMouse
Summary: "Darling, look at the size of these asparagus!" Eames shouts.Arthur resolutely ignores him.





	Mad as Rabbits

**Author's Note:**

  * For [FiaMac](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiaMac/gifts).



> I was feeling inspired and wanted to write something but didn't know what, and Fia requested a grocery store curtain fic. So here is A Grocery Store Curtain Fic For My Good Pal Fia. <3

Arthur has a list, but it's rendered worthless the moment Eames invites himself along.

"Darling, look at the size of these asparagus!" Eames shouts.

Arthur resolutely ignores him.

"Darling," Eames whines. "Are you even listening to me?"

Arthur picks up two different brands of rope and considers which would be more cost efficient. Their packaging advertises the various merits for rock climbers. Arthur is unimpressed. He just needs to tie up a few people; it doesn't need to be fancy.

"Darling, how can you possibly ignore these?" Eames shoves a pair of rabbit socks in Arthur's face.

Arthur sighs. "Eames, we're here for work."

Eames blinks. "I _am_ working. My mark adores rabbits."

Arthur is frankly amazed Eames manages to say that with a straight face. He turns back to his rope selection and chooses the package with more rope. At this rate, he's going to need some extra to tie up his fucking obnoxious boyfriend.

"Are you thinking of tying me up?" Eames murmurs in his ear, smirking.

Arthur glances at him. "Not in a fun way," he informs him, and throws the rope into the shopping cart. "Also, I didn't realize that was something you'd enjoy."

Eames shrugs. "I enjoy everything if you're involved."

Arthur ignores him and crosses _rope_ off his checklist.

"Are you almost done?" Eames asks. "We've been here for _ages_."

"If you helped me with this instead of running around grabbing rabbit socks and asparagus, we'd be done," Arthur says. "But alas, I only have two things crossed off my list."

"Stupid bloody lists," Eames mutters. "What's on there?"

Arthur scans the list and picks out something Eames is probably mostly capable of finding. "Duct tape."

"Duct tape," Eames repeats dutifully. "I'm on it, captain, sir!" He salutes, blows Arthur a kiss, then scurries away.

Arthur makes wonderful time without Eames hovering and shoving rabbit socks in his face, and he finds everything else they need before Eames has come back. That concerns him. A lot.

He makes his way across the store, hunting for the Duct tape aisle.

"Eames?" he calls.

"Darling!"

Arthur turns down the aisle then stops dead. "No fucking way," he says.

"But darling!" Eames pouts. "It's such a bargain!"

In his arms are rolls and rolls of Duct tape decorated with rows of cartoon rabbits.

"Eames," Arthur says.

"Rabbits," Eames says. "Look at all the adorable rabbits."

Arthur grabs two rolls of silver Duct tape off the shelf, turns around, and walks away. It's the only way to deal with Eames when he's like this, really.

As he checks out and walks to the car, he hesitates when he realizes Eames is already there, grinning like the damn Cheshire cat.

"Eames," Arthur says. "What the hell did you do?"

"You might need to keep your groceries up front with us, darling," Eames tells him. "The trunk is a little…occupied."

Arthur fumbles in his pocket for his keys and curses when Eames dangles them in the air in front of him.

"Fuck you," he says, snatching them from Eames' hands. He pops the trunk and stares. "Eames, what the actual fuck."

"Rabbits, darling," Eames tells him, face serious but eyes glittering. "Rabbits."

Arthur stares at the rabbit socks and rabbit duct tape currently filling his entire trunk and sighs. "If I didn't love you, Eames, I would murder you."

Eames smiles. "Aw, darling, that's the sweetest thing you've said to me all day."

Arthur rolls his eyes and shoves his groceries into Eames' arms. "Put these in the back seat," he says. "I'm driving."

"Absolutely, darling," Eames says. "I'll keep them up front with me, yeah?"

Arthur pauses. "Eames," he asks, "what did you put in the back seat of the car?"

"Oh, nothing much," Eames says. "Just a couple stuffed animals."

Arthur blinks. "That's it, we're breaking up."

"I know you don't mean that," Eames says, and he puts Arthur's groceries in the footwell of the front passenger seat. 

Arthur sighs and tries not to cringe at the mountain of stuffed, pastel-colored rabbits filling their back seat.

"You're a fucking maniac," Arthur tells Eames.

Eames grins at him and kisses him on the cheek. "Happy Easter, darling."

Arthur looks at him. "Shit, I'm sorry, I forgot it was Easter Sunday."

Eames smiles. "I hid some eggs back in the apartment. You can look for them later."

Arthur rolls his eyes and puts the car into gear. "Great. I've always wanted to hunt for eggs."

Eames laughs and kisses Arthur again. "Then what are you waiting for, darling? We need to get these rabbits home."

Arthur glances at the rabbits filling the car, then back at Eames. "You're fucking ridiculous," he says. "And I love you."

Eames smiles. "I love you, too, darling."

(Later that night, he gets a frantic call from Cobb asking why a crate of stuffed rabbits had been shipped to his door. Arthur hands the phone to Eames and walks away. He has three more eggs he has to find.)


End file.
